I Smiled, But They Don't Smile Back

Should I stop?

Image by Leonardo.ai

And last week I was talking to a friend and I was sharing about how it helps to smile.

I shared with her some stories how it gave me a feeling of joy and helps lighten my mood.

However, she responded back to me:

It's difficult to smile at people when people don't smile back at you. That is why I don’t see the point. It is difficult to give and not getting something in return.

And she is right! I couldn’t agree more.

In 2011, my wife and I were recruited to serve at a church here in Singapore. It is a very lovely and cosy church. Many people that I have met there say they always go back to that church as it gives them more peace.

One of the volunteers invited us to serve as part of the Hospitality Ministry. Our job is to welcome people, usher them to their seats, assist in Mass Offering, Collection and some ad hoc tasks.

We thought it would be great to serve and it looks very easy.

However, I noticed that not all people will respond to me even if I say “Good morning, welcome!”

Even if I smile at them, they won’t smile back and most don’t even look at me as if I don’t exist.

A few times, I feel I don’t want to smile and don’t even want to greet at people because it is tiring, when you “give”, but “you don’t get anything in return”.

Same as what my friend told me.

I observed, when they went to their seats, they prayed intently.

Sometimes, I wish I had the power of Professor Charles Xavier of the X-Men. So I can read their minds and thoughts.

After analysing the situation, I felt, maybe they are behaving that way because they are very much focused on their problems. As a result, they can’t focus on something else.

After all, it is not the healthy who needs the doctor, it is the sick.

And that is why they go to church to ask for help, peace, or clarity.

Then I asked myself, if I were in their situation, would I smile or would I behave like them.

The simple answer - I would probably behave like them.

And that time, I said to myself, “It’s OK!” I just keep on smiling and welcoming people. And never get tired of smiling. Never get tired of welcoming people. It is exhausting, especially that I am not a type of person who smiles. But it’s OK!

Maybe, if I keep on smiling and welcoming them, maybe one day, they will smile back at me. And maybe, they would feel better. And when they feel better, they will help others feel better.

It reminded me of what my mom told me when I was younger - “Always smile…”

If everybody does that, together we can help make the world a better place!

Now is 2023! It has been 12 years since my wife and I serve at our church.

Those people who did not smile back at me, almost all of them are already smiling back at me (though there are still a very few who didn’t).

When we see each other outside the church, we smile, we wave, and say “hello” at each other.

Over the years, I have developed good relationships and gained friends.

A few, even appreciated me and told me that they always see me smile.😉

“The world needs more people who inspire others to be better”. ~Zig Ziglar

So keep on smiling, even if they don’t smile back at you!

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Golden Rule vs Platinum Rule? #10